Post-Audition-Season Blues

Slowly but surely this crazy busy Newsies and Abba-filled audition season is coming to a slow halt. The days are no longer filled with rushing from Pearl Palace to dreaded NOLA and back to Ripley to make the three auditions all simultaneously planned on the same day. My audition calendar has cleared up a bit, and although there are a few remaining days of wishing I could teleport or clone myself so I could attend both 10:00 auditions and that bizarre 11:30 call as well, my audition schedule now consists of two or three scattered calls each week week at most.

I must admit: I’m quite thankful this high-stakes rat race of an audition season has passed us by. With hours that were previously spent waking up much too early, waiting in lines in the frigid cold of this never-ending winter-spring weather, and sitting for hours on the floor of the hallway outside holding rooms hoping to be seen, I now find wonderful expanses of free time I was so craving back in March. At first the free time was incredible; I loved binge watching the new Netflix shows I heard about but never had time for in the heat of audition season and lounging on the couch enjoying our seamless Thai dinner with my handsome husband. However now that auditions have truly dwindled down and I’ve begun to feel laziness and boredom creeping up on me, I find myself missing the craziness of audition season once more.

I miss having an outlet for my creative energy. I miss getting to dance each day -- well, if they decide to see us and maybe even only two eight counts worth of dancing but still, I miss it all the same. Performing is my passion and my career, and I miss furthering my craft, sharing my passion through dancing, and expressing my creative voice each day. Whether it’s shivering on an ice hockey arena stage in Canada (true story), on the great stage at Radio City, or in the dusty, tiny studio D at NOLA while a casting director sits watching and scribbling notes on my resume, I love getting to perform. So when audition season has come to a close, despite enjoying the freedom that comes with down time, I find myself experiencing that same mini-depression and sense of withdrawal I feel after a contract comes to an end. I needed a pick-me-up. I needed to find a way to stay up in a down time. So that’s what this blog entry is about.

Firstly, and because I am still attending whatever auditions come up in this down time, I want to address this. With fewer auditions each week, jobs are few and far between. I’m very fortunate to have emerged from this hectic audition season with a job, but this one has been one for the books. My friends are the most incredible, wonderful people I know who also happen to be some of the most talented, dedicated, and professional dancers and performers in the city and even still jobs have been scarce. I think it’s fair to say, we have all felt slightly crushed this audition season. And as a result, with fewer and fewer contracts available, we put an immense amount of pressure on ourselves to book the gig to feel we have something to show for our hard work.

Do not let the results of an audition, or an entire audition season, hold your self-worth as a person or a performer in the balance. You are not one job. I truly believe even if we cannot see it, and especially when we cannot see it, we are making ripples which slowly turn into waves. Things are happening. Do not put your worth in the results of what you see (or don’t see) happening immediately. An easy way to help you avoid this mistake is to stay off of audition update. If you don’t know what this is, great, and if you do, you understand why I advise you to stay away from the toxic page that is “callback corner.” A friend of mine once said about leaving an audition, “Give it three blocks and let it go.” This is a mantra I try to live by in audition land. Whether you crushed the audition or whether it was an absolute train wreck, what has happened has happened and it is now out of your hands. Worrying about it and checking callback corner helps no one and only hurts yourself. If you’re going to get the call, you’re going to get the call. Waiting on pins and needles is only going to make you feel more stressed.

So what do you do with all that free time, when you’re not working and you’re resisting the urge to check callback corner every two minutes? I believe I’m not alone in saying this audition season was quite frustrating. Try turning that frustration into something productive. Analyze why you were so frustrated someone else got the job over you or why you might have been cut from that call you always nail, and turn that frustration into some productive creative energy. Use your free time to hone your craft. Take a tap class so you can nail that time step and won’t freeze paralyzed in fear by being asked to tap dance one at a time. Refine your rep book. Practice that 32-bar cut in the back of your book that you hope no one ever asks you to sing. Take up a musical instrument, learn a new special skill, or go to the park and practice that aerial that is on your special skills list that you haven’t done for years. Make yourself a reel. Update your website. Go see a play. Rent a studio with your friends and sing your vocal cuts in front of each other to practice handling nerves in a singing audition. Take an acting or improvisation class. Try a new dance class that usually scares you away to make yourself a more versatile dancer and work on your assimilation skills. Creative energy doesn’t have to translate into career-productive activities either. Write a blog. Start a podcast. Take a cooking class. Become more politically active. The possibilities are endless.

Here’s another idea. Living in New York City, we live in such a creative, artistic community. Everyone wants to share their voice and have their voice be heard. Do you have a project you want to bring to life, a statement you want to convey artistically, or do you want to be the canvas for someone else’s artistic vision? Put it out there! Collaborate. People are always wanting to collaborate, especially when everyone is feeling very collectively artistically crushed. With so many clever, creative, artistic voices wanting to be heard and willing to work together to create art and plenty of free time that is no longer being occupied by cattle calls, you have no excuse not to jump on that project you’ve been longing to bring to life.

Finally, take some time for self-wellness to indulge in your own happiness. Don’t force yourself to always be questioning “what’s next,” or lining up the next few weeks in your head and stressing about making ends meet all the time. Take some time to allow yourself to do what makes you happy. Don’t know what that is? Make a list. Try brainstorming all the things that make you smile or make you happy and when you’re feeling bored or feeling down, reference your list for a happiness-inducing activity. Or try reading my friend Lucia’s posts in her group Happiness Club on Facebook or happinessclubtoday on Instagram. It’s a great source for happiness inspiration, a “community movement to champion self worth, intended to uplift and inspire.” Taking time to focus on your own happiness is not only beneficial to you and finding balance in your daily life, it affects the happiness you bring to others and the balance of the world around us.  

Don’t let down time drain your motivation, creativity, or happiness. Focus on using your free time to hone your craft, refine your goals, discover a new creative outlet, enjoy the company and collaboration of those around you, and find and follow your bliss. You’re going to be a healthier, happier person for it.